Lyrical: Feast of the Assumption

Today is the Feast of the Assumption of Mary into Heaven.

As a guy who has both got religion and got cancer, I went to the 12:10 midday mass at the little local church (decent crowd*) As Evelyn Ryan, the jingle-writing Prize Winner of Defiance Ohio wrote:

Every time I pass a church
I stop and make a visit
So when I'm carried in feet first
God won't say, "Who is it?”

Then I went for a diet-busting feast of 4 McDonald's Breakfast Burritos, which I consider a foretaste of heaven, particularly now that the Hot Picante sauce is back.

I think I also coined a new stop in the cycle of Season's Greetings:

Happy Thanksgiving
Merry Christmas
Blessed Easter
Safe Assumption

* The service had about 30 congregants. The 90%-geriatric assembly included several great Characters Not Appearing Elsewhere.

• Tiny Italian Woman Talking Too Loud About Chocolate (in Italian)
• Lou Ferrigno's Devout Son. 6'2", 20-something, cross-fit competitor huge, double hearing aids, skateboard attire, knows his Tantum Ergo and when to double-genuflect.
• Fresh-Faced Mexican Franciscan. Recently ordained, super earnest, discernible accent, looks like the doe-eyed, young, thin, black-haired version of the grey-eyed, older, thin, grey-haired architect we hired. Surprisingly bad rhythm (or good folk syncopation?) when leading Latin hymns.
• The Ingénue. Went to a top university. Probably Tufts. Did a year of mission work before law school. Ducks away from her public-defender job every Tuesday to read in clear, flawless, educated tones.
• Tone Deaf Haitian Lady. 40 years old. She loves Jesus and sings loud for him. We're talking I Love Lucy style off-key singing, sustained across entire hymns.
• Blogger with Cancer, the visitor doing his best to carry Tantum Ergo (his personal fave) and Holy God We Praise thy Name while positioned directly behind Haitian Lady, across from Hearing-Impaired Hulk, and a half beat ahead/behind Rhythmless Rector. Happy with his plight.